PRIESTLY HAPPINESS: A key to personal and communal happiness.
My Lord Bishop, Vicars (General and Religious), Deans, Monsignori, very Rev Frs. Frs, permit me to begin this reflection with the words of Chinua Achebe in classical novel “Things Fall Apart” that “A man who calls his kinsmen to a feast does not do so to save them from starving. They all have food in their own homes. When we gather together at the moonlight in village square, it is not because of the moon. Every man can see it in his own compound. We come together because it is good for kinsmen to do so.” My brothers, every time we gather for monthly recollection, it is not because we don’t have chapels in our parishes, but we gather to promote our brotherhood and togetherness in prayers and meditations. This morning, I want to share with you, priestly happiness as a key to personal and communal happiness, meaning that there are many more keys to happiness. But this few tips am about to share with you are basic to our priestly happiness.
While growing up as a mass server in a church environment, I never knew a priest can cry or shed tears, they were always there consoling and caring for people. It makes sense that those men who have dedicated their lives in the service of God as priests would be greatly filled by God, with an inner happiness and joy. However, there are imminent human factors that confound the basic assumptions of priestly happiness. Priests have their low moments because they are not superhuman; they can get to their breaking points. Yes, the priests do not only cry but also have inconsolable tears- probably soaking their pillows with anguish and sorrow. Most of the time priests seek true and sincere friends (probably brother priest) or people to pour their hearts to- many lay people can’t fathom the fact priests have their personal issues, let alone lack a trusted brother whom you can “Tell it all” I could be wrong, but I feel that the army that shoots its soldiers and lieutenants without looking back would be weaken at the battlefields. Is it true that amongst every 12 disciples there are possible Judas? Priests are human and liable to human weaknesses and failures. We must realise that we are ordinary men in the hands of a mighty God.
Contrary to secular opinions, Priests in general are among the happiest members of the society, says Monsignor Stephen Rossetti in his book, "Why Priests Are Happy" .The author surveyed 2,500 priests, and made discoveries that modern society might find surprising that priestly life is a happy life. He explained some of these findings, including the correlation between a priest's happiness and his relationship with God and others, and the signs of hope for the future of the priesthood. However, there are evidences of dark days, hours and times swung between Joy and sadness, euphoria and mistrust, vacillating in our faith and priestly ministry. I discovered that we are not alone in these polarities of life. The more I see people sad the more I am tempted to ask what the true meaning of happiness is, an utopia or existing only in a dream. Even more discouraging is the fact that many Christian families are unhappy when their priests are sad, unhappy or moody. Some priests can’t pretend or hide their facial expressions. Throughout the mass, they are wondering “he be like say, fada dey vex ooo” and it seen in our “words and actions”. And when you are asked, you can’t clearly pin point, the source of your unhappiness. These, often disconnect us from the people. One of the great joys and supports for the life of a priest is his connections with others- God, fellow priests and parishioners. The secular notion that priests are lonely, isolated men is simply not true. But an unhappy priest can ruin it all. What then is the problem? Where is that Joy of priesthood of old?
A story was told of a grandma’s dog that is carrying a piece of bone, while crossing a river it sees a reflection of the bone in its mouth and wanting to grab it, the dog let’s go what the dog wanted did not really exist. The answer to why some priests are not happy is because like grandma’s dog they want to grab what does not exist and let go the real thing! A priest can’t be happy when he darkens the absolute truth with relativism, selfish little truths that do not satisfy our intellect. Philosophically man is satisfied when the intellect reaches the possession of truth and when the will reaches the possession of what is good. Theologically God is the ultimate truth hence to posses God is to possess happiness. But we seek our satisfaction in the possession of little false goods, letting the supreme good remain unreachable, covered and suffocated by our fake satisfaction, pleasures, and materialistic conquest. Thus, one's reported relationship with God is strongly predictor of happiness which has a strong correlation with the truth. So we see our spiritual life as being a powerful contributor both to inner peace and personal happiness. In the face of the various violence and unhappiness in our world today, people seek divine consolations and spiritual intervention and if the one whose role and vocation is to console is equally deeply rooted in unhappiness, tell me, how can a blind lead the blind.
Brothers, the fact that we are not happy on account of the incongruence of our life; we want to combine God and money, material and spiritual, love and selfishness, religious and worldly life and then seek someone to blame for the discontent and emptiness we experience. As priests, our heart is much bigger, our intelligence is much more farsighted, our will much more precious of our petty interests. These attitudes are insatiable and we in turn condemn ourselves to be eternally discontent.
SOME CAUSES OF UN-HAPPINESS
At this point, let me release the list possible causes of unhappiness in priestly life. (Afterall, we are in the era of releasing list….of looters or list of lazy Nigerian youths… on a lighter mood) actually these factors are capable of looting happiness. Imo state just appointed recently, the minister of Happiness for the state. In no particular order, some of the causes of our sadness includes *Ministering without being ministered to. *Lack of proper delegation. *Giving in to accusations and criticism. *No leave or vacation. *Indifference to hobbies and recreational activities. *Frustrations for personal needs.* Depression from constituted Church's authority due to lack of understanding of the priest's needs and intentions.* Undue punishment on the priest. *Condemnation of the priest due to accusation from laity (sometimes) without thorough investigation. *Uncooperative Parish Council and Associate priests. *Vindictive and insensitive Parish Priest to the Associate and parishioners.*Oppression from "hierarchies" in the area of: ministry, posting, mission and further studies. *Prayerlessness on the part of the Priest *Walking alone in ministry.*Satanic counter attacks. *Lack of discipline in regard to punctuality, prudence and in relation to complementary sex. *Lack of accountability in finance. *Luke warmness and seeing "HOLY mass" and pastoral works as burden. *Lack of contentment and inordinate ambitions.
Priestly people, Holy priest and HAPPY people
Joseph Ratzinger says in the title of his book: you are the minister of your Joy. The first, most powerful predictor of priestly happiness is "inner peace." Those who have a good self-image and a sense of inner peace are the happiest of priests. Happiness is what we bring to our vocations and lives. If we feel good inside, we are likely to be happy with what is around us. This also is a challenge to all of us: If we are unhappy with our lives, perhaps the place to begin is not to criticize what is outside of us, but to look within. And this is linked to our relationship with God. So, where does inner peace come from? When one has a solid relationship with God, there is much inner peace. Jesus promised us this gift. He said, "My peace I leave with you, my peace I give to you." Happiness therefore is a choice. We can decide whether to be happy or unhappy. The old Latin: unisquisque faber fortunae suae (everyone is the maker of his own fortune) can easily be rendered as unisquisque faber felicitates suae (everyone is the maker of his own happiness). Our happiness or unhappiness cannot depend on causes outside our own self. We may try to blame everyone for our misery but I tell you brothers we are responsible for our state of unhappiness. We contribute greatly to our brothers down falls, our gossip and lack of forgiveness had forced many to quit priesthood, May God save us. If you want to be happy you must:
Have a Spiritual Director that you can pour out your heart to.
Take time out from time to time to be with friends and sometimes, family members.
Cultivate a Pattern of relaxation by engaging in some recreational activities.
Know when to retreat and surrender all to Jesus
Delegate wisely, a distributed leadership yield effectiveness- the work will remain after you are gone.
Don't be a lone-ranger (wisely relate with other ministers and ministries) you can't survive alone, please be wise.
Relate well with your biological family members and priestly family
Celebrate the sacraments with joy
Decide that no matter what I will remain happy. You are the minister of your happiness.
Finally, let us be our brothers keeper whatever that affect any of us affects all, a story was told of a squirrel eating kennel so lousy on a palm tree, the python under the tree sensed danger and quickly cautioned the squirrel that the noise from his mouth will put all of them in danger, the cocoyam leave also warned but the squirrel will not listen, shortly after, an experience hunter heard the sound of the squirrel, shot his gun and proceed to the foot of the tree to pick his game only for him to discover the huge python, he killed the snake and used the cocoyam leave to wrap them both. Excesses from some of our priest can put all of us on the line of media gossip, and blackmails. Good news doesn't make the news. Tragedies and scandals fill our front pages but the faces of our many happy priests do not. Remember, there is no media forgiveness. Let us be our brother’s keeper and we shall all be happy forever.
Fr Lawrence Ogundipe Sdv
My Lord Bishop, Vicars (General and Religious), Deans, Monsignori, very Rev Frs. Frs, permit me to begin this reflection with the words of Chinua Achebe in classical novel “Things Fall Apart” that “A man who calls his kinsmen to a feast does not do so to save them from starving. They all have food in their own homes. When we gather together at the moonlight in village square, it is not because of the moon. Every man can see it in his own compound. We come together because it is good for kinsmen to do so.” My brothers, every time we gather for monthly recollection, it is not because we don’t have chapels in our parishes, but we gather to promote our brotherhood and togetherness in prayers and meditations. This morning, I want to share with you, priestly happiness as a key to personal and communal happiness, meaning that there are many more keys to happiness. But this few tips am about to share with you are basic to our priestly happiness.
While growing up as a mass server in a church environment, I never knew a priest can cry or shed tears, they were always there consoling and caring for people. It makes sense that those men who have dedicated their lives in the service of God as priests would be greatly filled by God, with an inner happiness and joy. However, there are imminent human factors that confound the basic assumptions of priestly happiness. Priests have their low moments because they are not superhuman; they can get to their breaking points. Yes, the priests do not only cry but also have inconsolable tears- probably soaking their pillows with anguish and sorrow. Most of the time priests seek true and sincere friends (probably brother priest) or people to pour their hearts to- many lay people can’t fathom the fact priests have their personal issues, let alone lack a trusted brother whom you can “Tell it all” I could be wrong, but I feel that the army that shoots its soldiers and lieutenants without looking back would be weaken at the battlefields. Is it true that amongst every 12 disciples there are possible Judas? Priests are human and liable to human weaknesses and failures. We must realise that we are ordinary men in the hands of a mighty God.
Contrary to secular opinions, Priests in general are among the happiest members of the society, says Monsignor Stephen Rossetti in his book, "Why Priests Are Happy" .The author surveyed 2,500 priests, and made discoveries that modern society might find surprising that priestly life is a happy life. He explained some of these findings, including the correlation between a priest's happiness and his relationship with God and others, and the signs of hope for the future of the priesthood. However, there are evidences of dark days, hours and times swung between Joy and sadness, euphoria and mistrust, vacillating in our faith and priestly ministry. I discovered that we are not alone in these polarities of life. The more I see people sad the more I am tempted to ask what the true meaning of happiness is, an utopia or existing only in a dream. Even more discouraging is the fact that many Christian families are unhappy when their priests are sad, unhappy or moody. Some priests can’t pretend or hide their facial expressions. Throughout the mass, they are wondering “he be like say, fada dey vex ooo” and it seen in our “words and actions”. And when you are asked, you can’t clearly pin point, the source of your unhappiness. These, often disconnect us from the people. One of the great joys and supports for the life of a priest is his connections with others- God, fellow priests and parishioners. The secular notion that priests are lonely, isolated men is simply not true. But an unhappy priest can ruin it all. What then is the problem? Where is that Joy of priesthood of old?
A story was told of a grandma’s dog that is carrying a piece of bone, while crossing a river it sees a reflection of the bone in its mouth and wanting to grab it, the dog let’s go what the dog wanted did not really exist. The answer to why some priests are not happy is because like grandma’s dog they want to grab what does not exist and let go the real thing! A priest can’t be happy when he darkens the absolute truth with relativism, selfish little truths that do not satisfy our intellect. Philosophically man is satisfied when the intellect reaches the possession of truth and when the will reaches the possession of what is good. Theologically God is the ultimate truth hence to posses God is to possess happiness. But we seek our satisfaction in the possession of little false goods, letting the supreme good remain unreachable, covered and suffocated by our fake satisfaction, pleasures, and materialistic conquest. Thus, one's reported relationship with God is strongly predictor of happiness which has a strong correlation with the truth. So we see our spiritual life as being a powerful contributor both to inner peace and personal happiness. In the face of the various violence and unhappiness in our world today, people seek divine consolations and spiritual intervention and if the one whose role and vocation is to console is equally deeply rooted in unhappiness, tell me, how can a blind lead the blind.
Brothers, the fact that we are not happy on account of the incongruence of our life; we want to combine God and money, material and spiritual, love and selfishness, religious and worldly life and then seek someone to blame for the discontent and emptiness we experience. As priests, our heart is much bigger, our intelligence is much more farsighted, our will much more precious of our petty interests. These attitudes are insatiable and we in turn condemn ourselves to be eternally discontent.
SOME CAUSES OF UN-HAPPINESS
At this point, let me release the list possible causes of unhappiness in priestly life. (Afterall, we are in the era of releasing list….of looters or list of lazy Nigerian youths… on a lighter mood) actually these factors are capable of looting happiness. Imo state just appointed recently, the minister of Happiness for the state. In no particular order, some of the causes of our sadness includes *Ministering without being ministered to. *Lack of proper delegation. *Giving in to accusations and criticism. *No leave or vacation. *Indifference to hobbies and recreational activities. *Frustrations for personal needs.* Depression from constituted Church's authority due to lack of understanding of the priest's needs and intentions.* Undue punishment on the priest. *Condemnation of the priest due to accusation from laity (sometimes) without thorough investigation. *Uncooperative Parish Council and Associate priests. *Vindictive and insensitive Parish Priest to the Associate and parishioners.*Oppression from "hierarchies" in the area of: ministry, posting, mission and further studies. *Prayerlessness on the part of the Priest *Walking alone in ministry.*Satanic counter attacks. *Lack of discipline in regard to punctuality, prudence and in relation to complementary sex. *Lack of accountability in finance. *Luke warmness and seeing "HOLY mass" and pastoral works as burden. *Lack of contentment and inordinate ambitions.
Priestly people, Holy priest and HAPPY people
Joseph Ratzinger says in the title of his book: you are the minister of your Joy. The first, most powerful predictor of priestly happiness is "inner peace." Those who have a good self-image and a sense of inner peace are the happiest of priests. Happiness is what we bring to our vocations and lives. If we feel good inside, we are likely to be happy with what is around us. This also is a challenge to all of us: If we are unhappy with our lives, perhaps the place to begin is not to criticize what is outside of us, but to look within. And this is linked to our relationship with God. So, where does inner peace come from? When one has a solid relationship with God, there is much inner peace. Jesus promised us this gift. He said, "My peace I leave with you, my peace I give to you." Happiness therefore is a choice. We can decide whether to be happy or unhappy. The old Latin: unisquisque faber fortunae suae (everyone is the maker of his own fortune) can easily be rendered as unisquisque faber felicitates suae (everyone is the maker of his own happiness). Our happiness or unhappiness cannot depend on causes outside our own self. We may try to blame everyone for our misery but I tell you brothers we are responsible for our state of unhappiness. We contribute greatly to our brothers down falls, our gossip and lack of forgiveness had forced many to quit priesthood, May God save us. If you want to be happy you must:
Have a Spiritual Director that you can pour out your heart to.
Take time out from time to time to be with friends and sometimes, family members.
Cultivate a Pattern of relaxation by engaging in some recreational activities.
Know when to retreat and surrender all to Jesus
Delegate wisely, a distributed leadership yield effectiveness- the work will remain after you are gone.
Don't be a lone-ranger (wisely relate with other ministers and ministries) you can't survive alone, please be wise.
Relate well with your biological family members and priestly family
Celebrate the sacraments with joy
Decide that no matter what I will remain happy. You are the minister of your happiness.
Finally, let us be our brothers keeper whatever that affect any of us affects all, a story was told of a squirrel eating kennel so lousy on a palm tree, the python under the tree sensed danger and quickly cautioned the squirrel that the noise from his mouth will put all of them in danger, the cocoyam leave also warned but the squirrel will not listen, shortly after, an experience hunter heard the sound of the squirrel, shot his gun and proceed to the foot of the tree to pick his game only for him to discover the huge python, he killed the snake and used the cocoyam leave to wrap them both. Excesses from some of our priest can put all of us on the line of media gossip, and blackmails. Good news doesn't make the news. Tragedies and scandals fill our front pages but the faces of our many happy priests do not. Remember, there is no media forgiveness. Let us be our brother’s keeper and we shall all be happy forever.
Fr Lawrence Ogundipe Sdv
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